The Adventures of OM&P: Chapter Fourteen

In which Owl-Man makes an unlikely friend

“I hope he was right about having a plan,” Owl-Man muttered. He stared through the bars of his prison, irritated. It had been several hours, and Porter was nowhere to be seen.
He paused and looked around for the guards. They were lounging at the doorway, chatting with each other, clearly bored. They were paying no attention to him.
“Perfect,” he said. “I can plan in peace.”
He picked a stick up from the corner of the filthy jail and smoothed a clear space in the dirt floor. ‘My side’ he wrote.
“Hmmm. There’s me, and there’s Porter, of course”- he wrote ‘me’ and ‘Porter’ in the dirt- “and Rose and The Theory, and Red-hood and Blue-hood and Purple-hood and Green-hood and Pink-hood and all the cows,” he said, writing their names down as well. “That’s a pretty good army.”
“Except all the Hoods and all the cows have been brainwashed, so I don’t have them anymore.” He drew a line through their names. “And Rose and The Theory are probably either brainwashed or dead, so I can’t expect any help from them.” He crossed out their names. “And I have no idea where Porter is.” He scratched out ‘Porter’ as well.
He looked at what he had written. Under ‘My side’, there was just one name- his own.
“Okay,” he said, talking to himself. “It looks like it’s just me, now. I’m going to have to handle this by myself.”

The first problem he had to overcome was, obviously, the cage in which he was trapped. There were four walls surrounding him, each with heavy iron bars. The roof was open, but it was much too high for him to climb out. He tried breaking the bars, but they were much too thick. He tried tunneling out through the floor, but after a few inches of dirt he hit solid rock. He tried convincing the guards to let him out, but they just laughed at him. He tried knocking out the guards, but they stayed well out of reach.
“Just give up!” one of the guards told him. “I bet Melkor would release you if you allowed yourself to be brainwashed.”
“Never,” Owl-Man growled at him.
“Oh, come on,” another guard said. “It’s not that bad. We’re fed, we have soft beds to sleep in, the jobs aren’t too hard-”
“I’d rather starve,” Owl-Man said, “Than let someone take over my brain.”
“Have it your way,” the guard shrugged. “You probably will starve.”

Just then there was a commotion at the doorway. The guards who had been talking to Owl-Man hurried back to their post. Owl-Man craned his neck, trying to get a better view of what was happening. Sauron was there, with several soldiers, and they were having an argument with the guards.
“Probably has something to do with Porter,” Owl-Man thought. “Maybe they’re bringing him back.”
The group at the door began to quiet down. The soldiers left, and Sauron walked over to Owl-Man’s prison with a guard on either side.
“Maybe it’s not about Porter,” Owl-Man thought suddenly. “I think they’ve come for me this time.”
He resolved not to go anywhere without a major struggle. He wrapped his arms around one of the bars and held on tight, waiting for Melkor’s minions to try to pull him loose.
The guard unlocked the door, but much to Owl-Man’s surprise they didn’t come after him. Instead, they shoved Sauron into the jail and locked him in.
Owl-Man stared at Sauron uneasily. He wasn’t sure what was going on. Melkor’s second in command was in prison with him? Surely not. He must have some reason for being here.
“He’s probably going to try to torture me or something,” Owl-Man realized. “This is even worse than I thought.”
He shut his eyes and clung more tightly to the bars. Nothing happened for several minutes. Silence reigned absolute in the little cell.
Suddenly a sniffle broke the silence. Owl-Man opened his eyes cautiously. He looked more closely and realized Sauron’s eyes were red and there were tear streaks on his dirty face.
Owl-Man slowly let go of the bars and turned around all the way. Sauron didn’t seem to be much of a threat. He was sitting against the bars, sniffling occasionally, and looking extremely miserable.
Owl-Man stared at Sauron for several minutes. Sauron stared at the floor.
Finally, Sauron said: “Stop staring at me.”
Owl-Man looked away. “Sorry,” he said.
Sauron sniffled again. “It’s okay,” he said. “I know you weren’t trying to be rude.”
The evil archvillain’s nose was dripping. Owl-Man found an old tissue in the bottom of his pocket and offered it to his morose cellmate.
“Thank you,” Sauron said, taking the tissue and blowing his nose. He gave Owl-Man a shaky grin. “That was nice of you.”
Owl-Man shrugged uncomfortably and changed the subject. “Why are you here?” he asked.
Sauron’s face crumpled and he began to cry. “Because,” he sobbed, “Melkor had me- hic- replaced! He doesn’t want me around any more. He found a new- hic- sidekick!”
“Um, sorry,” Owl-Man offered. “That’s tough.”
“It is,” Sauron agreed, nodding. “It really is.” Tears dripped off his chin. “I hate to ask you,” he said, blushing a little, “but do you by any chance have another tissue on you? I would like to borrow it.”
Owl-Man looked through his pockets and found two more tissues, which he handed over.
“You can keep both of those,” Owl-Man said. “I don’t want them back when you’re finished with them.”
“Okay,” Sauron said, “thank you.” He wiped his nose again.
After that, they sat in silence for about an hour. Sauron was very tearful at first, but as time got on he grew less and less weepy and more and more angry. His eyebrows came down and he glared furiously at his toes. He muttered harshly to himself.
Finally, he burst out, “It’s not fair!”
“What’s not fair?” Owl-Man asked him.
“I’ll tell you,” Sauron said. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair. My whole situation, that’s what. That’s what’s not fair. Nobody treats me fairly. I have never been treated fairly in my whole life.”
“That’s too bad,” said Owl-Man.
“Shall I tell you my story?” Sauron asked.
Owl-Man didn’t really want to hear it, but he thought it best if he humored this obviously unstable, possibly still powerful archvillain with tact. “If you want to tell me your story, I’ll listen,” he said.
“Okay, thanks,” Sauron said happily. “You’re the best. Nobody else will ever listen to me.”
“Alright,” said Owl-Man, “Get on with it.”
“My story begins several millennia ago, when I was just a lad,” Sauron began, leaning back. Owl-Man suppressed a sigh. This was obviously going to be a very long story.
“I was a happy boy,” Sauron said, “I danced through the fields all day, spreading joy and sunshine and merriment wherever I went. My very favorite thing to do was sit under the cork tree in my backyard, smelling the flowers.”
“Sounds fun,” Owl-Man said.
“Oh, it was,” sighed Sauron. “Those were the happiest days of my life.” He smiled fondly, remembering. “But they did not last long. The time came for me to learn a trade, so I got a job with the master craftsman Aule. I have always been a quick learner, and soon I was the best metal-worker in the whole business, second only to Aule himself.”
“Good for you,” said Owl-Man.
“Thanks,” said Sauron. “It was a lot of fun. I loved working with the machines. But soon I got bored.”
“Bored?” Owl-Man said.
“Yeah,” Sauron said, sighing. “So I started reading about Melkor, and I thought he was really cool, and I sent off for my own army. I wanted to be just like him.”
“You are,” offered Owl-Man. Sauron was looking upset again. “I think you’re a lot like him.”
“I’ve always wanted to be,” said Sauron. “I followed all his instructions to the letter. I did everything just the way he wanted. I spent years- years- building this fortress for him. And how does he repay me?” He glared horribly at Owl-Man. “He repays me with this!”
Sauron shook the bars of the cage wrathfully. “I gave him everything he asked for, and at the first available opportunity he replaces me with some sassy young upstart! It’s not fair!”
“What?” said Owl-Man. “He really did replace you?”
“Yes,” said Sauron, “Despite my love and loyalty and devotion, he has cast me aside. It’s not fair at all.”
“No,” agreed Owl-Man absently, “but what did you say about your replacement? Who was that again?”
Sauron thought back through their conversation. “I said he was a sassy young upstart,” he said. “I didn’t tell you his name though, I don’t think.”
“Well, what is it?” Owl-Man demanded.
“Something like, um,” Sauron wrinkled his nose as he tried to think. “Pickle. Or maybe it was Potter. Pickle, Potter, Pourer- something like that.”
“Was it Porter?” Owl-Man asked.
“Yes, that’s it!” Sauron said, snapping his fingers. “Porter! Yes, that’s his name.”
Owl-Man leaned back against the bars and shut his eyes, groaning. “Oh, no,” he said. “This is terrible.”
“What’s the matter?” Sauron asked him.
“Porter is my brother,” Owl-Man told him. “I had no idea he was replacing you, though. I think he may have been drugged or something. I have to stop him.”
Sauron straightened, looking fierce. “I will help you,” he declared.
“Yes, if we do succeed in rescuing Porter, you can have your throne back,” Owl-Man promised him.
“I don’t want my throne,” said Sauron. “I want revenge.”
“Revenge?” Owl-Man asked. “Against who? Not Porter.”
“Not Porter,” Sauron assured him. “Melkor.” His eyes burned with anger. “He betrayed me and cast me out. I gave him good, but he repaid me with evil. He must suffer for what he has done.”
Owl-Man thought about this for a few moments, then shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said.
They shook hands.
“Now, what about this prison?” Owl-Man asked his new-found sidekick. “Will both of us together be tall enough to climb out?”
Sauron wiped a few lingering tears, sniffed one last time, and smiled sunnily. “Oh, we won’t need to climb out,” he said. “I’ve got a collapsible welding torch in my pocket. I’d forgotten about it, but it’s just what we need to escape this miserable spot.”
Soon the bars furthest away from the guards had a large hole in them. Owl-Man and Sauron slipped through, running low into the darkness beyond.
“Stay close,” Sauron whispered. “I know these halls.”

END of CHAPTER FOURTEEN

~ by The Theory on March 20, 2014.